Yesterday, we received the devastating news that Trey Pennington took his own life. Tormented by personal troubles it was his only way out. I hardly knew Trey and sadly I will never meet him but the news of his death shocked and saddened me. To me, however real death in itself becomes, it makes no sense. How can someone just leave the living like this? How can someone be there one moment and vanish the next?
I have contemplated whether to write this post as I’m not sure it’s my place to tell a story on the back of Trey’s death or if this blog is the right place for it. But the post isn’t about me. It’s about the disease that took Trey’s life. Depression. We don’t talk about it much in public because we don’t know how to handle it. In fact, we don’t even understand it fully if we have been (or are there) ourselves. Chemicals in our brains cause havoc. Chemicals! Something considered so insignificant by most can turn our life upside down. We are overcome by sadness, simple tasks like doing our laundry become humongous and life doesn’t seem worth living.
How do I know this? Because I have been there. I have struggled through the worst year of my life trying to hold it all together and came out on the other side. Luckily. I sought help and received it. And even though no-one could help me, it was comforting to know that they cared. Not always. Not even often but there were days on which I was grateful. And those days make all the other days worth fighting for.
Trey’s death is shocking, saddening and heartbreaking but it also indicates that it’s time for a change. Depression doesn’t mean we are crazy and belong in a straight jacket. It means we need help. And if saying out loud that I understand what it feels like (to a certain extent) and the knowledge that I came out on the other side helps one person, then yes, I will say it out loud. I suffer from depression. So do millions of people and it’s nothing to be ashamed of.
It’s natural to feel awkward when you hear it because how do you relate to something you know nothing about? But it’s not so much about relating. It’s about saying nothing and just hugging your friend. It’s about showing that you care without saying much. It’s about treating you without pity. That is more powerful than anything.
People suffering from the disease need to help themselves. That’s easier said than done but sadly, it’s the truth. It would be so so much easier if someone else could deal with the crap and brighten up yoru day in these situations. That’s not possible. But it is possible to share our stories. I know, that I felt alone with all of it. I didn’t know of others who suffered. I wish I did. And that’s why I would like to do two things.
If you suffer from depression, or know someone who does, reach out to get help! You can do this here.
The second thing I’d like to do is open up the comment section to you. To say whatever you want. To ask me questions. To post opinions. To ask the community questions. It’s your place to talk.
Flickr credit to marcooooo.
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